Suddenly (but not surprisingly) Single

So once again, and for the last time (again) my boyfriend has left me, again. I would like to take this opportunity to say "happy trails". And along on that happy trail, I hope he is shot and killed. I take that back, I don't hope the gun wound is fatal. Anywho, I don't suppose that I will have any luck dating in California. I refuse to date a guy who wears skinny jeans. I like my men in the hetero category. And I wouldn't dare date a guy who walks around with a bluetooth device flashing in his ear. Your hands cannot be that damn busy! So I'll probably be single for awhile. That's fine by me! Gives me a little more time to focus on my time machine haunt. Besides, I need to get my shit together. I shouldn't be this fat and I should probably have a career by now. I guess I should also start combing my hair and putting on clothes. But then again, I'd rather be sleeping. surprisingly