Why Kids are Lame (and I Am Not)

Children are 100% lame! But they do have cute clothes, other than that, they're just tiny idiots. And the worst part, is their adult chaperon, aka parent, who adores their every retarded detail. Somehow, every word out of their snagatooth mouth is intelligence not known to any other child. My friend was constantly telling me how smart her child was, simply because the child asked "What time is it?" Okay, "what time is it?" is a pretty common question. A retard will ask for the time. It just means that your child is a parrot and will repeat anything it hears. This also indicates that she will not be able to keep a secret, therefore, she won't have any friends and will grow up to resent and kill you. So no, I don't agree that you are the mother of the genius who will one day cure cancer. And No, I don't want you to show me the 100th picture of Junior doing absolutely nothing interesting. Unless, your kid got a nose job, I'm pretty sure it still looks exactly the same.

I am most likely not going to have children of my own. I wouldn't have children unless I am married and although I will date anyone, and I do mean anyone, I am a little more selective when it comes to having children. But, if I ever got a hold of Jay Z's sperm and impregnated myself, I am certain that my child would be the cutest baby ever and would probably say the darnest things!

P.S. And if you're a parent and you are offended by this, first let me say thanks for reading my retarded blog, and second, you being offended just means that you're a bad parent.